[ ] Get my license/car.
[ ] Learn to swing dance.
[ ] Start doing yoga persistently.
[ ] Learn to fluently speak French.
[ ] Live in New York City for one year.
[ ] Visit each continent.
[ ] Fly across the country, and then drive back.
[ ] Buy a cute and comfy couch.
[ ] Get my blink tattoo.
[ ] Camp outside of area 51.
[ ] Learn to ballroom dance.
[ ] Get married under the stars.
[ ] Sky dive.
[ ] Walk between the great pyramids of Giza.
[ ] Learn how to play the violin.
[ ] Learn to play the piano better.
[ ] Film a full length film.
[ ] Swim with dolphins.
[ ] Learn to sew exceptionally well.
[ ] Be an extra as a Zombie in a Hollywood film.
[ ] Learn the Thriller dance, successfully.
[ ] Visit Hawaii.
[ ] Go up in a hot air balloon.
[ ] Go to the Easter Islands.
[ ] Watch a Space shuttle launch in person.
[ ] Go the Grassy Knoll.
[ ] Have a paint balloon war.
[ ] Tell everyone I know, exactly how I feel about them.
[ ] Visit Roswell.
[ ] Celebrate November 11th, 2011 in a big way.
[ ] See an Aurora Borealis.
[ ] Work for/with Apatow Productions.
[ ] Have a long conversation with Richard Kelly.
[ ] Save enough money to get an apartment in Los Angeles with Trent.
[ ] Be in NYC on New Years Eve.
[ ] Get a job with less customer service involved.
[ ] Become a paranormal investigator.
[ ] Visit Disneyworld-Florida for the Holiday season.
[ ] Become good friends with Tom, Mark, and Travis.
[ ] Get over it.

1. My imagination gets the best of me.
2. I have a variety of types of humor in me. Depends on who I’m around on what I’ll show. I’ve come to realize my default is my awkward humor that nobody understands but myself, which results in me coming off as stupid, or an explanation is needed. Haha.
3. I have asthma attacks; about 60% of them are while I'm in the shower.
4. I go to Barnes & Noble once a week at the least. I love reading.
5. I like to bite Trent. a lot.
6. I like paranormal phenomena, extraterrestrials, ghosts, werewolves, unexplained beings, and vampires. And no, I don't mean the stupid vampires from twilight that started the trend of "loving" vampires. I can guarantee you I have had a fascination with them long before you and your team Edward shirt started believing they are all lovey dovey. Screw twilight. VAMPIRES CANT WALK IN THE DAYLIGHT. On top of that, it isn’t even original. Vampire Diaries existed years before Twilight.. and it’s the exact same thing.
7. The bone in the side of my left foot sticks out in an unnatural way and it hurts really bad, to the point of limping, after a long day on my feet.
8. I have a pinhole in my lower back. I just tell people I was abducted by aliens and that’s where they stuck the needle.
9. I play guitar hero way to much, I mean waaay to much.
10. When I'm bored, I make faces.
11. I don't eat meat 50% of the time. Not because I am trying to be a "vegan" or something, I actually don't like the taste most of the time.
12. I daydream more than the healthy amount.
13. I am in love with the most amazing person in the entire world. He is as perfect as it gets.
14. The holiday season is my most favorite time of the year. I get really dorky and freak out over every little thing. I even where Christmas sweaters like an old lady. One of my favorite things to do is go to the mall, get a sugar cookie and some hot cocoa, and sit by the Santa section and watch the kids get really excited.
15. It’s actually hard for me to make friends. Which is why I don’t have that many of my own, most of mine come through Trent. Regrettably, there are people in this world I wish I could be friends with, but I’m just not outgoing enough to make the move.
16. I am obsessed with movies. It’s my number one passion and I would do anything to work in the industry.
17. I want to be a magician.
18. One of my favorite things to do out of town is go to their local theater.
19. I am obsessed with everything Blink 182, with the exception of Travis. I’m not really a fan of him… Not entirely sure why. Just something about him bugs me. It could also be the fact that I listened to blink before he joined the band.
20. A lot of people misconstrue my shyness as being stuck up or rude. That’s entirely NOT the case. Sometimes it’s not even that, I sometimes can just be a quiet person who only talks if I really have something to say. It’s all based solely on my mood, I suppose.
21. Ouija boards, tarot cards, palm reading, and all other things like that fascinate me. But Trent won’t let me use a Ouija board. He did by my tarot cards, though.
22. I have a fascination with Nikolai Tesla. He was a man before his time. I do believe he spoke with aliens.
23. I like office supplies.
24. I prefer "film" over movie, and "photo" over picture.
25. I don't like:
a) spiders/bugs.
b) most girls.
c) metal music.
d) diet soda.
e) hot weather & sweating.
f) whiskey.
g) people who are famous for nothing. I.E. Everyone from The Hills, Youtube stars, rich kids, etc.
h) bad vocabulary. No wonder everyone thinks this is the century of stupidity. So many people can’t spell or don’t even bother to try!
i) brb, lol, thnx, ttyl, wtf, etc.
j) seafood.
k) w4w / whore trains / "I need 128756383453 friends to make me feel cool."
l) turbulence.
m) reptiles.
n) strangers who don’t smile back.
o) when people don’t say please/thank you.
p) people who can only make jokes at other peoples expense.
q) girls that like Trent.

26. Biggest Goals in life:
a) get married.
b) work in the film industry.
c) travel the world.

27. I have four goals I'd like to achieve in the film industry;
a) work with Will Ferrell.
b) work with Judd Apatow and the crew.
c) work with Richard Kelly.
d) & work with Joss Whedon.

28. I’m a sucker for those “forbidden” love storylines in the late 90’s/early 2000’s teen drama shows. My favorites are:
a) Pacey Witter and Joey Potter. (Dawsons Creek.)
b) Buffy Summers and Angel. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)
c) Max Evans and Liz Parker. (Roswell.)
d) Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls. (Veronica Mars.)

29. Loves of my life?
a) Trent, boyfriend, best friend, other half.
b). Tom Delonge. Crushing on him since 1998.

30. Disneyland is one of my favorite places.
31. I can’t dance. But I want to learn ballroom dancing and swing dancing.
32. I can't sing.
33. My voice fluctuates, and I have an insecurity about it because people always made fun of it when I was younger.
34. I’m a pro at photoshop. No joke.
35. I love fall/winter smells; pumpkin, leaves, autumn apple, christmas tree, vanilla, sugar cookie, gingerbread, frosted cranberry, etc.
36. Favorite time of year: September-December. It’s filled with the most amazing holidays and celebrations.
37. I like being scared. Not actual ‘There’s a murderer on the loose and he’s hunting me and my friends’ sort of scared. But Haunted Houses, and scary movies are so much fun.
38. I do enjoy my liquor. Actually, that’s not true. I hate the taste. But I love the aftermath.
39. Kids are not on my life’s agenda.
40. I’m not into big parties that have a bunch of people I don’t really know. I enjoy being surrounded by everyone I know and enjoy the company of.
41. I drink to much Orange Soda.
42. I drink Sparkling Cider on a regular basis.
43. I was born in Coos Bay, Oregon.
44. I had blue hair 6th grade – Sophomore year.
45. I can’t pronounce the word “channel” right.
46. I can’t fall asleep unless the television is on.
47. I collect pocket change. ESPECIALLY PENNIES. I hate when people toss them like they aren’t worth anything.
48. I have anxiety attacks sporadically, probably once a week due to being stressed and/or something not working out as I wanted it to. That, and uncontrollable events happening that affect me.
49. I love scrap booking.
50. I double check everything I do and I continue to rewrite things until someone stops me.
51. Panda bears have been my favorite animal since I got a stuffed one when I was 3.
52. I’m to dependent on others. It’s horrible, I know..
53. I love decorative stringed lights.
54. I love having themed parties and decorating the apartment to fit it.
55. I believe in the Loch Ness Monster.

I'm really in the mood for a photo adventure right now. But I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, 10:30 at night, all by my lonesome. I've been feeling this way a lot lately. I think it was sparked by a conversation with someone recently. Ever since I've been out of school/courses involving photography, I haven't been doing that much anymore. At least in the 'artistic value' sense. I've taken photos for sentimental reasons and for memories sake. But not for the mere fact that I am in love with photography and the feeling you get when you look at something and it stands out as beautiful to you and you just have to capture it. The feeling of making something that's basic and regular, that you may even see every single day, and you want to make it immortal in a photo. It's really weird. It's like.. I don't know, I've lost the "eye" as my photography teacher called it. Or maybe it's just stuck in the dark.. I don't know. Bad metaphor, I suppose? But I really want to revive it.

I'm feeling misplaced at the moment. I was unhappy with AAU, I don't have close to enough money for the NYFA workshop yet, and I'm not satisfied with the repitition of my basic boring job. I want change. But at the same time, I'm terrified of it. I need a push, because I feel to weak to deal with the pressure of actually going through with something so drastic. Not that I have that option at the moment, anyways. I'm completely broke. I've been robbed and have to go through the slow and unfair process of the insurance claim. And this country is in a recession. I have been applying for seasonal positions as a photographer. It's highly unlikely I'll get the job, but worth a shot... I don't even know if that'll keep my mind happy if I were to get it. The thing I want most is so distant from me, and it takes so much hard work to reach it. The obstacles in the way aren't even placed there by me, not all of them anyways. It's built specifically to make you feel like it's unreachable and if you fail just once, it wants you to give up. I'm trying to keep my head up about it.. but I don't know how long that'll work. I need to do something. Something that puts me a step closer to achieving it. But I don't know what exactly that is. People told me my whole life, "go to college", "go to school", It's what will make your dreams come true".. But I'm starting to not feel that way. What it really takes is creativity, strength, a bit of an ego, and constant optimism. Because it really is set up so you fail. And so you feel like it's working against you.. It sounds like something I might now be able to handle. But I want this so bad. I'm hoping that I'll overcome it.

I think all of this is the aftermath of a hangover.. a hangover of a vacation. That feeling in your gut you get when you arrive back home, and you have to settle back into the rut of repition. Where you just start back up and nothing has changed, nothing has evolved.. it's all the same. Boring. Unsatisying. Your dreams feel so far away.


Fuck, this blog is kind of depressing.

Trent and I are dressing as Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo.

A) I've gotten a new phone (lg tritan), and it's quite pleasant. Aside from the small detail of the color scheme being impossible to change, so it's stuck on this ugly poopy brown color. Haha. But only on certain menus, thank goodness.

B) We're having a birthday party for yours truly on September 4th. I've already told some of you who are a top priority that MUST be there! No offense to the people I haven't told yet, but this is me giving a shout out to the rest of ya. You're more than welcome to come. There is going to be jungle juice and daiquiris and other goodies. But you can bring stuff for yourself as well.

C) Only EIGHTEEN more days until we leave for Los Angeles for two whole weeks! Well, first we’ll be stopping in Sacramento to see Blink play!! And then we’ll be stopping again in Bakersfield, for another blink show. And there’s a couple days in there for San Diego. But yeah. I’m so fucking stoked. We’re going to the Emmy’s! And we’re going to see the cast of How I Met Your Mother, and Dexter, and Weeds, and a bunch more of great television shows. Plus, we’re going to a couple movie premieres.. Not amazingly awesome movies, but some big names like Jennifer Aniston and people like that will be there. Then there’s the wonderful Disneyland and Universal Studios. Disneyland will be starting their Halloween version when we go, and it’ll be awesome. Universal Studios is always a blast, because it’s fun to see the film lot. Which reminds me, we’ll also be touring our film program that Trent and I are working towards doing in the near future. It’s going to be absolutely amazing. And if I had the opportunity, I would never come back, because I’ll have the two most important people with me.

D) Trent and I are getting our tattoos soon! It’s going to be the infinity sign; (∞… We haven’t decided if we’re going to do initials or just a heart intertwined with it. So, we’ll see.. but we’re getting it on our wrists. We’ve had this idea for a while, but now we think it’s time to finally get it done.

E) In November, we’re taking another trip. Not as massive as this one, but just four days. Trent and I (all by our lonesome) are going to Disneyland for our Five year anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been almost that long, already. It’s crazy. All the while, I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. Everything revolves around him and our love. It’s pretty incredible. I’m stoked to finally take a big trip with just him. It’ll be our first. (Coast trips and Portland trips don’t count. ) And yeah.. I absolutely am one hundred percent in love with that boy. He makes me so happy.

F) I can’t stop listening to Regina Spektor. Her voice is amazing, and her lyrics are always so beautiful.

G) Trent and I are being either Silk Spectre/Rorschach or Sweeney Todd/Mrs. Lovett for Halloween. Maybe even neither... but those are the ideas we’re throwing around right now. I’m finding it very difficult to get a sailor-like dress for the beach scene on Sweeney Todd., though. I still am trying to think of a really good idea for a couples costume. If you have any ideas, let me know.

H) That’s all, folks!